jimmercubed

Tonight's Advice...

Wed, 25 Nov 2009 04:48:04 GMT

...Go watch Devil's Advocate. If you haven't watched it, do so as soon as possible. If you have watched it, but not recently, go and watch it again. :D

Hands down one of my favorite movies of all time.

Random little story I found

Tue, 10 Nov 2009 04:49:46 GMT

While I was browsing through my old posts out of boredom tonight, I found something that I had written in my spare time and thought that a few of you might find it interesting.

It's for no particular fandom in general, though it is Fight Club inspired. I'm not really posting it up for criticism like I had EoS do the one time, but more... Lol, I actually have friends now, and they might find it an interesting read. I am going to put one warning on it though, and that's the fact that it's very, very dark. The general mood and atmosphere are something that I'm proud to have set, but it's still a very dark little short story.

Title: None, at the moment
Warnings: Very dark, hints of slash, murder

I watched as He stood over the man on the ground, kneeling in the runoff rain from the nearby buildings, my eyes captured by what was unfolding. This was His sermon, it was our communion, and it was my rapture. The rain fell and it soaked me through, unnoticed, as I watched Him straighten His arm, elbow bending, the notched sights on the end of the pistol lining up with the top of His shoulder, the cold steel of the weapon's barrel planted on the kneeling man's forehead.

He blubbers, crying on, but I tune it out -- there are only so many times you can hear someone ask for forgiveness, for mercy, before they all start to sound the same. He begins to speak in His low, even voice, and even the man at His knees ceases his endless noise to hear His words:

"Can you feel it? Can you feel it, here, this electricity... This isn't planned. This isn't recorded, this isn't -scheduled- for, this isn't... fate. There isn't anything else in all the worlds of all the universe except what is right here, in this little alley: There is Me, there is you, there is him... and there's what we -can- do, and what we -can't- do."

I've heard those ending words before, heard them murmured in his sleep, heard them whispered into my ear, heard myself drugged with them: "There is only what we -can- do, and what we -can't- do." I'd taken these words from my very first meeting with Him, taken this small part of Him and made it my own; held them close, cherished them, and slipped them into my heart, my mind, my soul.

For all that His words had been spoken in the presence of another, I knew they weren't meant for the being on the ground -- he was merely a lesson, something to teach with, as much a person as any other book, scroll, or video. His words were for me, asking if I knew why we were here, asking if I was ready for what He was about to teach me.

The rain was the only sound for awhile, filling up the nighttime alley with its harsh, abusive blows to the pavement before I caught Him speaking once again, this time down to the begging man in a soft, almost soothing whisper,

"Liberating, isn't it? To cast away everything that you're supposed to be, to remove the weights that are expectations of how you are to act, to behave, to let go of being in -control-... To let it all go. To let that forbidden emotion rule you -- surrender, to beg without pride. To let another take you into their power, to -understand- that there is nothing you can do. That this is out of your hands. To lose yourself, and have it be okay ... There is no guilt here; you are weak, and I have taken you to be my own. You will understand, soon, that it's just as relieving to fall as it is to stand."

His words rolled into me, through me, like a drug, lifting me as I sought to wrap my mind about everything that He was trying to tell me. This wasn't the first time that He'd taken someone like this to demonstrate His point, to teach me. They were always fine in the end, if a bit scarred, and the warrants out for Him just grew longer and longer.

The feeling of a warm wetness, of blood spattering against my rain-chilled flesh, was my first indication that this wasn't like the others -- the sound of the man's form crumpling down against the wet stones the next, a last, quiet sigh passing before he was dead. Only then, oddly, did the echoing sound of the gunshot reverberating against the bricked walls reach me... Harsh, grating, but most of all a symbol of what He could do.

Fanfiction and You!

Sun, 08 Nov 2009 06:05:20 GMT

Postsex!Integra compels you to offer advice.

Ever since we got back from yaoicon, I've been tossing around the idea of trying out this whole "Fanfiction" business, as it's not something that I'm wholly unfamiliar with and sounds entertaining. The downside... None of the fandoms that I would be interested in are super active. All of the Dresden stuff is teh dead, as is Metal Gear Solid and Hellsing. I'm tossing around writing for them in general, Dresden in particular, as I have a few plot bunnies that are eyeing me like a chicken at a Popeyes' supply plant.

I have this huge, epic multichaptered plot idea planned out, but I think it may end up staying closeted 'cause... Who would read it? :P My fandoms they are all teensy weensy.

Tl;dr:

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 04:03:04 GMT

Boondock Saints II, anybody? wtf? Since it's only coming to theaters in the east and west coast, I'm wildly torrent hunting for it, but am wary of something claiming to be a "DVDRip" of a movie that came out four days ago.

Anyone else out there on the interwebs having better luck?

The philosophy of... Bejeweled? O_o

Tue, 03 Nov 2009 23:18:32 GMT

As I was looking through my phone today in class, I came upon a text message that was dated for Monday morning, 2:53 AM, which was while Leslie and I were still on the plane back home. The message was from me, to me, and it read:

"What you have to understand is that life isn't LIKE Bejeweled; life IS Bejeweled. Your miniscule, tiny choices on top that you make every day, every second, that change and affect nothing... Then there are the deeper, rougher blocks that make up the pillars that all the rest sit upon. Before you start making choices about moving your baseline blocks, truth, love, hate, rage, you need to be ready to have your entire layout change. Nothing on your field is the same after that."

....

So... yeah. Apparently being really tired + jet lagged + playing Bejeweled for three straight hours = ... philosophy?

I don't get it either.

Supernatural

Tue, 24 Mar 2009 14:29:00 GMT

Been watching Supernatural a good bit recently... Just about to start episode 12 in Season 1. It's been... interesting. Relatively cliche and by-the-numbers so far, but I'm still somehow enticed that, if I watch long enough, it'll eventually become awesome. It has promise, I'm just... not sure I want to hang around that long.

Still not sure what all the wank is about.

Twitters

Thu, 12 Mar 2009 05:28:25 GMT

It's nothing personal, but tomorrow evening I'm removing twittering-friends from my friends list. As mentioned, absolutely nothing personal, it's simply that catching snippets of conversation I'm not involved nor interested in gets old. And some of you people's twitter posts are RIDICULOUSLY long. :P

Thanks,
-Jim

Mardi Gras is the best holiday ever. Fuck you, Christmas. Not even close.

Sat, 14 Feb 2009 06:42:44 GMT

Alright, I could've sworn that I had captured a picture of me in, uh, garb? I guess, but we had some phonefail and the picture was lost...

Anyways. That's all of the loot from my very first Mardi Gras parade -- yes, that's a full-sized couch. Yes, the couch is being TOTALLY COMPLETELY EATEN by all of the shit that we got.

Secondly: I ended up with the pink pimp hat on my head after ripping it out of the arms of some frat boy when it was thrown off of one of the floats. I saw the lady throwing them out and was like -- Mine. Right now. I don't care if I have to start punching infants, I'm getting one of those pink pimp hats.

So I was in that, with so many beads around my neck that I couldn't even close my fist. The longest trailed down around my waist, the shortest barely making it past my collar, in every single color you can think of.

It started raining about halfway through the parade, which just made it more intense. The phrase 'parade' is somewhat of a misnomer. It isn't really a parade, not like you usually think of them. It's more like a marginally controlled mosh pit, particularly whenever the floats start tossing stuff other than beads -- boa's (one on the back of the couch there, tried to snag one of those too, didn't manage it), panties (did manage to snag several of these, one of which was rather scandalous :D), spears (yes, you read that right), or noisemakers.

I can honestly say that Mardi Gras parades make it the best fucking holiday ever. Fuck you, Christmas. Not even close.

Anyways. The parade ended with me in the pink pimp hat, the entire front of me colored in a rainbow of beads, half-soaked with rainwater, with a pair of roses popping out of my color, criss-crossed. I so wanted a picture for you guys, but shit happens. :P

Note: This is a direct rip from my Facebook post, where most of my Illinois friends are, hence the explaining. I didn't mean to be explaining everything you lot already knew to you. :P

Monstertrucks and Fuzzy Dice

Tue, 13 Jan 2009 05:43:22 GMT

Some belated quotes:

Niblet, on friending me on MySpace:
[23:39] rockingmychucks: it definitely asks "do you really want to add the antichrist as your friend?"

Me, to a coworker:
"Liz... Us dating because you think I'm funny would kind of be like you buying a monster truck decaled with babies on spikes because you like the fuzzy dice hanging from the mirror. There are more implications to this monster truck than you think. As you don't really seem like a babies-on-spikes kind of girl... I don't think this is a good plan."

< golden flash of light >

Mon, 22 Dec 2008 03:01:03 GMT

Congratulations, jimmercubed, your have gone up one level in nerdom!

...So yeah. WoW jokes aside, I just published my first work anywhere on the interwebs in all of its unpolished, un-beta'd horribleness over on fanfiction.net. Please be noted that, for any of you poor saps who end up tracking it done: in all of it's unpolished, un-beta'd horribleness. This is the important phrase in this sentence.

Because I am uber-nerd, it's actually WoW fanfiction... BOOOOO, I know, blargh, WoW, yeah, yeah, I got it. But I'm actually mildly proud of it -- not the writing style or the content or the characiterization, but... Hey! I GOT SOMETHING DONE! Woot-woot.

-does the white man shuffle happy dance-

The awful, you can find it here: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4732141/1/

Cliche? Yes. Unpolished? Definetly. One, full, 2.5k word chapter? HELLZ YES.

On a totally unrelated note: Inside the Fire is the best Disturbed song I've heard in a long, long time.

Twilight

Mon, 22 Dec 2008 00:00:33 GMT

From the first 57 minutes that Megaupload let me watch:

Lunch room scene, where Edward Cullen is introduced:
"OH HAI, MY FAMILY WEARS ALL WHITE AND I WEAR ALL BLACK OBVIOUS PLOT DEVICE IS OBVIOUS LOOK AT ME BLACK SHEEP."

Blowing hair scene, when she enters the classroom:
"This technique has been overdone since Marilyn Monroe did it. Maybe the director needs a memo."

Bella and Edward sit together in lunch:
"LAWL I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO WORK SEXUAL TENSION/DESIRE SO I WILL LOOK LIKE I'M ABOUT TO THROW UP KTHNX."

Edward attempting to leave the Biology class:
"Oh hai, I'm a two hundred year old vampire and I have NO SELF CONTROL whatsoever. Lawl, weak-willed vampire for the fail."

Dialogue: "Tell me about your school." "Well... they're all very welcoming." [ Sarcasm ]
LOL! You were welcomed by the entire school and the entirety of the small village KNOWS YOUR NAME! What do you want, a fucking parade?

WTF, 200+ year old vampires go to ... high school? In all of the world in all time, they can think of NOTHING better to do than to go high school? O_o

Dialogue: "And another no-show... Things were getting a little strange."
Yeah, totally, because it's not like kids EVER skip class in high school. Jump into the Mystery Machine gang, there's evil afoot!

General theme for the movie: Apparently, when someone stares at you CONSTANTLY and never, ever looks away from you it isn't creepy or stalkerish, it's HAWWWT ZOMFG.

Dialogue: "You're asking me about the weather?" "Yeah... I guess I am."
"Yeah... I'm also a two-hunded year old vampire with supernatural powers, a bad-ass rich family of ubervampires, and have apparently NO skill whatsoever at smalltalk. Awkward, clumsy vampire for the fail."

Dialogue: "yeah... My mom remarried..." "Oh... So you don't like the guy? -EYE SHIFTY OF DOOM-"
....So Edward Cullen gets excited at the prospect of stepfathers? O_O The sound of twilight fangirl hearts breaking everywhere...

Dialogue: "Yeah... I'm going to call your mom." "Agh... She's going to freak out."
Yeah, I mean what kind of mom freaks out after her daughter is almost hit and killed by a bus? What a crazy, overprotective woman.

Dialogue: "How did you get over to me so fast?" "Bella, I was standing right next to you." -smile- "No, you weren't." "Yes, I was." -smile-
Does anyone else sense a: "NO YOU WEREN'T!" "YES I WAS!" 'NO! 'YES!' 'NO!' 'YES!' theme here? O_O

Dialogue: "What's in Jacksonville?"
UNSUBTLE VAMPIRE IS UNSUBTLE. In two hundred years of life the man has yet to figure out that REGULAR PEOPLE DO NOT HEAR CONVERSATIONS ACROSS PARKING LOTS? O_O

Dialogue: "You don't even say hi to me." -awkwardly- "....Hi."
.....Wow. Just ... wow. Worst suave man vampire ever. All of those sparklies must have knocked out a few brain cells.

Dialogue: (Note: Edward initiates conversation) "Bella... We shouldn't be friends."
THEN WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING TO HER?!?! o_o

....Throughout this entire movie, even after having enormous fights about how they ZOMFG CANNOT BE FRIENDS... He keeps initiating conversatiosn with her. What. The. Fuck.
(Note: 30 minutes in at this point)

Dialogue: "If you were smart ... you'd stay away from me."
"HELLLLOOOOO crazy fucking stalker man. YOU KEEP TALKING TO ME."

"What if... I'm not the good guy... What if... I'm the villain?"
What if... my dialogue is horrible... what if... I'm killing this character ... WHAT IF... Lestat would burst into this movie and make me not-suck. We can only pray.

"I should go back there and rip those guys heads off!" ......."Distract me, let's talk about something else!"
Hahahahahaha. Edward Cullen, you fail at teh dialogue game.

Dialogue: "...And then I heard what those lowlifes were thinking..." "Wait. You heard what they were thinking?!" -abashed look on Edward's face-
....Apparently, as well as being socially retarded, he IS retarded. Two hundred year old vampire can' tkeep a secret worth a fucking damn.

Dialogue: "I don't... Have the strength... to stay away from you anymore." "Then... don't."
Award given: Worst dialogue evar.

Random Thoughts

Wed, 10 Dec 2008 21:36:05 GMT

It could be wrong of me, but I find myself amused by how many people annoy me. I'm sitting in the library after taking my Geography final and another group has plunked down in the side of our circle near the cafe and, despite the fact that I can't put my finger on exaclty what it is, there is something about them that annoys me.

I'm not quite sure what it is about the kid in the white shirt, blue jeans, and short-cut hair that annoys me, but it's nonetheless quite a prevalent feeling. There's this rambunctious, annoying manner that he gives off that makes me want to find some downers, walk up to him, and be like, "Take these. Right now."

I think it's the fact that the entire time that I've been writing this, browsing the internet, and listening to some four or five different songs on Leslie's Ipod, I don't think that I've seen his mouth close yet.

No... That isn't it either. I don't mind people who talk excessively, but there's something rather odd about his mannerisms, about how he carries himself and speaks to other people. There's nothing quite like putting the world on mute to just be able to watch.

He almost reminds me of Ben in a way, in that I bet this man has a problem with speaking too much, too often, in a too arrogant manner.

Speaking of Ben, I still need to make that post up on his LJ. Hrm.

Well. Random thoughts set for LJ? Woot.

Kittie Terrorists Attack Household, Four Still Held Hostage!

Wed, 03 Dec 2008 04:19:47 GMT

Public Service Announcement:

Falling out of Jimmie's good favor? Not feeling quite as much love from the Lord On High as you once did? Then today, I bring to you the Good News! Due to the fact that the Lord's house has been overrun by untamed kitties, an insult he will no longer stand for, he's putting a Wanted Alert out on any and all Nerf guns, with a reward of *¹Much Lovin's^(tm). If you feel the need for more love from the Almighty, or are just looking for those few extra brownie points, this could be your chance! Donate your gift of one fully-working Nerf gun and ammunition to the Jimmiean Armory and help fight Kittie Tyranny today!

*1: Exactly how much 'Much Lovin's' entails is subject to the power, rate of fire, and clip size of any and all Nerf guns gifted to the Lord Almighty for Christmas. While your semiautomatic pistol will get you much lovin's, the Justice Defender, Kittie Slayer 3000, gatling-gun format, would give you many more.

Thank you, and may Jimmie bless you all.

Stitches

Tue, 02 Dec 2008 00:36:12 GMT

Random thought numero uno:

You know your life has been an interesting one when Stitches by Orgy applies to not just one, not just two, but three of your past relationships.

Random thought numero dos:

You know there might be something wrong with you when, at your grandmother's funeral where you're acting like a palbearer, you have to restrain the urge to lift her out of the coffin and dance with her, shouting, Lestat-esque, to the congregation, "There's life in the old lady yet!"

Quote

Sun, 30 Nov 2008 06:46:46 GMT

Pair of them, today:

"The only way to beat temptation is to yield to it."
-Oscar Wilde

"Man's greatest regrets are for temptations resisted."
-Jubal Harshaw, Stranger in a Strange Land

"In Heaven, all the interesting people are missing."
-Nietzsche

Quotes

Mon, 17 Nov 2008 16:46:08 GMT

Many-much quotes from the weekend:

Roni -- "Huzzah is like the medival lol."

Roni -- "Jesus, fuck!"
"Big loverboy, was he?"
"I think there was a comma there, or a space."
"Jesus SPACE fuck? Now I have the image of Jesus in a space suit out fucking some aliens!"
"JESUS SPACE FUCKER!!!"

Jimmie -- Not a quote, but acting like a roller coaster, bobbing up and down on the ground with my arms up in the air.

Jimmie, in the trunk -- "Do you feel like you're talking to an imaginary friend, when we're talking like this and you can't see me?"

Anna -- "You don't just warm up to penis, it's not like it's caramel popcorn -- you don't just taste it, and then try it again, and then it's really good."

Amy -- "Can we please not compare Ben's penis to caramel popcorn?"

Skittlez -- "I have so many reverse's they have NO idea which way they're going!", cue five minutes of hysterical laughter.

Leslie -- "OH NO, NOT THE BOOTS!" (More from her forthcoming)

Charity Limey Bird -- "If all the young lads were watches, I'd be their golden hands... AND I'D SIT ON THEIR FACES!"

Quotes

Wed, 12 Nov 2008 17:13:20 GMT

No funny quotes today....

"If the right thing were easy, everyone'd be doing it."

'The right choice' is something of a misnomer. It should be 'making the right choice over and over and over and over and over and over and over as you are punched in the face.'

Quotes... Late.

Mon, 10 Nov 2008 15:18:31 GMT

I have forgotten quotes lately. :( I knowz. Bad Jimmie. I'll work on getting some more up later, things have just been rather hectic lately.

Ninja-edit, from yesterday:

"Leslie, can I borrow your lube?"
-Amy

Wed, 05 Nov 2008 18:09:27 GMT

It's 12:03 in the morning and I can't think of anything to really do. I have all of this creative energy that I need to pour into something, but I don't really have an outlet anymore... So here we are at LJ. For better or for worse, I'm going to throw down some drabbles that've been floating around in my head.

-------------

I watched as He stood over the man on the ground, kneeling in the runoff rain from the nearby buildings, eyes enraptured. This was sermon, it was communion, it was rapture. The rain fell and it soaked me through, unnoticed, as I watched Him straighten His arm, elbow bending, the notched sights on the end of the pistol lining up with the top of His shoulder, the cold steel of the weapon planted on the kneeling man's forehead.

He blubbers, crying on, but I tune it out -- there are only so many times you can hear someone ask for forgiveness, for mercy, before they all start to sound the same. He begins to speak in his low, even voice, and even the man at His knees ceases his endless noise to hear His words:

"Can you feel it? Can you feel it, here, this electricity... This isn't planned. This isn't recorded, this isn't -scheduled- for, this isn't... fate. There isn't anything else in all the worlds of all the univers except what is right here, in this little alley: There is me, there is you, there is him... and there's what we -can- do, and what we -can't- do."

I've heard those ending words before, heard them murmured in his sleep, heard them whispered into my ear, heard myself drugged with them: "There is only what we -can- do, and what we -can't- do." I'd taken these words from my very first meeting with Him, taken this small part of Him and made it my own; held them close, cherished them, and slipped them into my heart.

For all that His words had been spoken in the presence of another, I knew they weren't meant for the being on the ground -- he was merely a lesson, something to teach with, as much a person as any other book, scroll, or video. His words were for me, asking if I knew why we were here, asking if I was ready for what he was about to teach me.

The rain was the only sound for awhile, filling up the nighttime alley with its harsh, abusive blows to the pavement before I caught Him speaking once again, this time down to the begging man in a soft, almost soothing whisper,

"Liberating, isn't it? To cast away everything that you're supposed to be, to remove the weights that are expectations of how you are to act, to behave, to be in -control-... To let it all go. To let that forbidden emotion rule you -- surrender. To let another take you into their power, to -understand- that there is nothing you can do. That this is out of your hands. To lose yourself, and have it be okay ... There is no guilt here; you are weak, and I have taken you to be my own. You will understand, soon, that it's just as reliving to fall as it is to stand."

His words rolled to me, through me, like a drug, lifting me as I sought to wrap my mind about everything that He was trying to tell me. This wasn't the first time that He'd taken someone like this to demonstrate His point, to teach me. They were always fine in the end, if a bit scarred, and the warrants out for Him just grew longer and longer.

The feeling of a warm wetness, of blood, was my first indication that this wasn't like the others -- the sound of the man's form crumpling down against the wet stones the next, a last, quiet sigh passing before he was dead. Only then, oddly, did the echoing sound of the gunshot reverbrating against the bricked walls reach me... Harsh, grating, but most of all a symbol of what He could do.

Today's Quote

Wed, 05 Nov 2008 05:27:12 GMT

"Some men have demons within them, and they are to be fought, driven away, resisted... But some men, my friend, are not men at all -- simply demons with human faces."

Quote of the Day

Tue, 04 Nov 2008 01:39:28 GMT

Today's Quote of the Day:

"Hey, it's a fleshbag! Let's fuck it!"
-Leslie

Today's Quote

Mon, 03 Nov 2008 05:42:35 GMT

I'm going to start trying to do a "Quote Of The Day" as often as I can remember/find a worthy quote. Today's quote:

"In the fandom that is life, I believe that I am an Amy/Ben shipper. While not yet quite canon, anyone who has been paying attention to the most recent panels should be able to see all of the proof necessary -- All of the right subtexts are there."
-Jimmie

Meme

Mon, 27 Oct 2008 16:15:31 GMT

Shamelessly stolen from Leslie's LJ: Pick your fifteen favorite movies and get a quote from each one, and then post them onto your LJ. The rest of you then get to guess at which movies they're from, without cheating by using google or IMDB.

1."Look all they want is one little piece of information, just give them something, anything."
"Thank you, but I'd rather die behind the chemical sheds."
"Then you have no fear any more. You're completely free."

2. "Clatto Verata N... Necktie... Neckturn... Nickel... It's an "N" word, it's definitely an "N" word!"

3. "No, no. Look, you've gotta understand what it's like, Baby. You come from the streets and suddenly you're up here, and these women, they are throwing themselves at ya, and they smell so good, and they really take care of themselves. I mean, I never knew women could be like that, you know? And they're so rich, they're so goddam rich, you think they must know about everything. And they're slipping their room keys in my hands, two and three times day, different women. So, here I think I'm scoring big, right? And for a while, you think, hey, they wouldn't be doing this if they didn't care about me, right?"

4. "Why do you cry?"
"You mean people?"
"Yes."
"I dont' know. We just cry. You know, when it hurts."
"Pain causes it?"
"No, it's when there's nothing wrong with you, but you cry anyway. You get it?"
"No."

5. "Yes, Master Falhurst, I'm well aware a good fonging is on the way."

6. "Will you yield the city?"
"Before I lose it, I will burn it to the ground. Your holy places - ours. Every last thing in Jerusalem that drives men mad."
"I wonder if it would not be better if you did."
(Leaving in the name of the city as, without it, it makes it a very difficult quote.)

7. "You know what your problem is Wilson? You need to listen for the pop."
"Whoa, whoa. What's "the pop", Johnson?"
"That's the sound you're gonna make when your head comes out of your ass for the first time."

Giving two quotes for this movie, as I'll be surprised if anyone else has seen it:
"Sarge, you got any advice on how to stay alive in Vietnam?"
"Yes, I do, Private. Don't go."

8. "Did you want confession?"
"Heh, well, maybe later, Father. 'Cause where I am going, I'd just have to come right back."

Again, two quotes:
"End of payback? An eye for an eye and all that crap? You finally gonna be satisfied?"
"I think so."
"I hope so. 'Cause, I don't have the stomach for this anymore."
"You never did."
"Neither did you."

9. "I got in everyone's hostile little face. Yes, these are bruises from fighting. Yes, I'm comfortable with that."

10. "My boy Dale is at the Reno Correctional Facility. He's got some clarity issues. Did some home invasion, sodomy-torture type stuff; wrote a lot of bad checks."

11. "I may not be a man of God, Reverend, but I know right and I know wrong and I have the good grace to know which is which."
"Oh, fuck off, grasshopper." *Reverend pulls pistols out of his cassock*

12. "Would you fuck me? I'd fuck me. I'd fuck me hard."

13. "Say what you will about Jesus, but leave the "Rings" out of this!"

14. "God tells me he can get me out of this mess, but he's pretty sure your fucked."
Also: "Every many dies, but not every man truly lives."

15. "I've seen me a lot of weird shit in my day, but I ain't never seen a one-legged stripper. I seen me a stripper with one breast. And I seen me a stripper with twelve toes. I've even seen me a stripper with no brains at all, but I ain't never seen a one-legged stripper. And I've been to Morocco."

I'll be surprised if all of these are found... I picked some pretty random-ass movies.

ZOMFG REDISCOVERY

Fri, 17 Oct 2008 02:34:34 GMT

While not a pivotal moment in the evolution of my life... I have rediscovered one of those songs that, by itself is pretty good, and then you remember all the memories you made to this song, and then it becomes AWESOME.

I present to all of you, without further ado, Faggot, by Mindless Self Indulgence:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9jjg_tarSaQ&feature=related

Revel in the awesome.

This post is dedicated to Sarah-Jean Louise Benjamin, and all of her awesomery.

Best. Thing. EVAR.

Mon, 29 Sep 2008 18:12:31 GMT

Best. Thing. EVAR.

So I had a pretty large break today over lunch and decided that, instead of burning time out in the library, I decided that I'd hit up the dorm that I have on campus for shits and giggles. Since the school year has started, I've been in this room a whole one time, as I live with Alyson. I apparently have a roommate named Gregory, whom I've never even seen before. Note this: Never seen this man's face before.

Regardless, I got to hear him groan in orgasm today. Welcome home, eh?

Anyways. The room is set up from the point of view that each of us, as there's just the two of us, each have our own little room with a closed, rather shifty, door between. I'm in here for maybe five or ten minutes whenever I hear the door outside open, close hard, and then lock. I sit there for a minute, consider going out to meet AnonRoomie but then ... I hear a girl laughing. I was chilling in my room, listening to some music quietly, when I hear the door to his room then open and the two of them head inside. Keep in mind, I'm NEVER here. EVER. I don't blame them for what they did in any way shape or form, but... They proceeded to have the most noisy, porn-esque sex I think I've ever heard. There were several times when I could make out all kinds of dirty things being called out by the woman, and I could steadily hear the sounds of the moans getting closer and closer together.

At this point, I'm laying there in my bed, cracking up laughing, whenever I have a Boondock Saints moment. I figure that the two of them are getting ready to orgasm and I can see the two brothers, right before they pull Rocco into that hotel room, going "...We've GOT to fuck with 'im." That was so me today -- I could hear that saying -- We've GOT to fuck with him.

Anyways. So they're getting noisier and noisier, bordering on cumming, so I fire up my laptop and start to browse for the worst, least-porny music I can possibly get my hands on.

Before I've so much as seen my roommate's face, or that of his lover, I've heard him cry out that he was cumming to ....

...the sound of Harry Potter Puppet Pals -- The Mysterious Ticking Noise, at max volume. "Snape, Ron, Snape, Ron, Ron Weasley, Dumbledore, --- GOD I'M CUMMMMMMING!"

(For those of you not in the know: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tx1XIm6q4r4)

Ahahahaha. Today is made of epic win.

I love my life. :D

I am one happy duckling atm.